I missed posting for a couple of days. I even missed posting on Easter Sunday. I don’t want to project a false, cheerful image, but I also don’t want to complain. I know people in lots worse circumstances, but the truth is I feel overwhelmed.
A lot of you feel that, too, on both sides of a coin. Some of you have been sidelined by the COVID-19 thing, left without work, isolated in your homes, chomping to get out and do something. Others (like me) are fortunate to still earn a paycheck, and are working more than ever. Side bit: did you know it takes about three times longer to deal with an online class than a classroom class? We need to meet and discuss things for the church, and since I have phone anxiety, organizing those things for meeting online or by teleconference drains me.
Sundays always take a lot out of me, since I pour my whole self into a Sunday service, but online services drain me far more than face-to-face services. I think it’s because I draw energy from the people in the pews (who are equally present online, but I can’t see or hear them), and because in addition to preaching I also have to juggle frustrating tech things. A sunrise service plus regular service a couple of days ago left me pretty useless the rest of the day.
A couple of online meetings on Monday, then, just finished me off.
I need to grade stuff. I need to call people and check on them. I need to reach out to people. But I am wiped out.
I hear similar things, for different reasons, from a lot of people.
Sometimes all you can do is hang on.
I draw strength for hanging on from knowing that God does not abandon me. I may not be rested, I may not be fully functioning, I may not be satisfied. But I am content.
I’m not saying this because I need anything, for I have learned how to be content in any circumstance. I know the experience of being in need and of having more than enough; I have learned the secret to being content in any and every circumstance, whether full or hungry or whether having plenty or being poor. I can endure all these things through the power of the one who gives me strength. (Philippians 4:11-13, CEB)
One of the first verses of Scripture I memorized was Philippians 4:13. I learned it in the King James Version, of course, which says, “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” I had a mechanical pencil with that verse on it, and I treasured it for years because of that verse. I thought, as a lot of others have taken it, that it meant I could do anything through the power of Christ. But the Common English Bible gives a more accurate translation of the key verb: “I can endure all these things….”
I can’t do it on my own. But I can endure through Christ, who doesn’t remove my challenges, but gives me strength to deal with them.
We are experiencing all kinds of trouble, but we aren’t crushed. We are confused, but we aren’t depressed. We are harassed, but we aren’t abandoned. We are knocked down, but we aren’t knocked out. (2 Corinthians 4:8-9, CEB)
We are sustained. I hope you can feel that as I do. Though we don’t find the words in the Bible, I firmly believe we find the principle: This, too, shall pass.
Maybe I can function today.
Peace.